May 20, 6:05 a.m. So here I sit in front of my computer, ten days after seeing the surgeon who says I may have cancer and eleven days before my surgery. The last time we spoke I left off asking how does prayer work and if all things really do work for good to those who love God? Obviously I have no idea where I will be at the end of the day May 31. But am I any different now, in this moment, than before I went to the doctor on May 3? I guess I am. If so, I would have to say one way I am different is that I am more sober, thoughtful and careful with scriptures like Romans 8:28. Perhaps less cocky as I think about them is a better way to describe it. Yes, all things do work for the good of those who love the Lord. But I will be more measured as I proclaim it, more sensitive, less self righteous. I will be more aware that knowing a Truth and having full faith in a Truth does not make that Truth right for all seasons.
There is a season for everything under heaven and the sun. We need time to process bad news, illness, disaster and grief. There are those moments when we will doubt, those times we will question, those mornings we will struggle mightily to do it over again and those evenings when we will curse the dying day as we slip into sleep. Its called being human. Know this however; "all things" does hold true - especially so, even more so, in those dark moments of our lives and during those days when we can only endure. But now when I come alongside a soul in distress, when encouraging and lifting another, I will be wiser and more thoughtful in the words I choose. I will remember that "all things" may be out of season for some in their "moment" and perhaps even meaningless to a soul hanging by their finger tips on the edge of a thousand foot cliff.
So, not less faith in "all things" just a wiser application.
As I wrote earlier, doubt was followed by shame. I was shocked and puzzled by it at first. I mean after all, after forty years of walking with our Lord, a Sunday School teacher, a deacon and the author of a book about trusting God just does not doubt. Its just not possible. Yeah right!
Pride comes in many forms.
But question I did. Yet, over the past days and weeks I have come to believe it was necessary and nothing to be ashamed of. How did I come to that conclusion? I am so glad you asked! As I reflect on those moments I have to wonder. When it really can be a matter of life and death, is the question "Is it really true?" a sign of doubt and that we are weak, as we can so easily assume, or is it something other? Can it be a sign that our faith is alive and well? I mean if we did not have true faith, if we really did not believe in He-Who Lies-Beyond why would we worry He might not be there? A true non-believer may worry about their eternal destiny, but they won't worry about what they never had faith in. And I strongly doubt that anyone lying on their death bed has ever worried about the existence of Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.
No, the questions can be unnerving to be sure, but they also serve a divine purpose. They drive us back to our core beliefs. They make us examine the conditions of our foundations. They sober our thinking, they settle us down, they prepare us for the trials ahead. Our Lord and Savior spent the entire last night of His earthly life questioning God. And at dawn, when the soldiers came to falsely arrest Him, He knew what He believed, His foundation was firm, His thinking was clear, His soul was settled and He was prepared to wage and win the greatest battle ever fought.
We are in good, no, divine company when we test our foundations, when we examine our core beliefs and when we question the strength of our convictions. That truly is God making all things work for our good because we love Him.
More later. David
There is a season for everything under heaven and the sun. We need time to process bad news, illness, disaster and grief. There are those moments when we will doubt, those times we will question, those mornings we will struggle mightily to do it over again and those evenings when we will curse the dying day as we slip into sleep. Its called being human. Know this however; "all things" does hold true - especially so, even more so, in those dark moments of our lives and during those days when we can only endure. But now when I come alongside a soul in distress, when encouraging and lifting another, I will be wiser and more thoughtful in the words I choose. I will remember that "all things" may be out of season for some in their "moment" and perhaps even meaningless to a soul hanging by their finger tips on the edge of a thousand foot cliff.
So, not less faith in "all things" just a wiser application.
As I wrote earlier, doubt was followed by shame. I was shocked and puzzled by it at first. I mean after all, after forty years of walking with our Lord, a Sunday School teacher, a deacon and the author of a book about trusting God just does not doubt. Its just not possible. Yeah right!
Pride comes in many forms.
But question I did. Yet, over the past days and weeks I have come to believe it was necessary and nothing to be ashamed of. How did I come to that conclusion? I am so glad you asked! As I reflect on those moments I have to wonder. When it really can be a matter of life and death, is the question "Is it really true?" a sign of doubt and that we are weak, as we can so easily assume, or is it something other? Can it be a sign that our faith is alive and well? I mean if we did not have true faith, if we really did not believe in He-Who Lies-Beyond why would we worry He might not be there? A true non-believer may worry about their eternal destiny, but they won't worry about what they never had faith in. And I strongly doubt that anyone lying on their death bed has ever worried about the existence of Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.
No, the questions can be unnerving to be sure, but they also serve a divine purpose. They drive us back to our core beliefs. They make us examine the conditions of our foundations. They sober our thinking, they settle us down, they prepare us for the trials ahead. Our Lord and Savior spent the entire last night of His earthly life questioning God. And at dawn, when the soldiers came to falsely arrest Him, He knew what He believed, His foundation was firm, His thinking was clear, His soul was settled and He was prepared to wage and win the greatest battle ever fought.
We are in good, no, divine company when we test our foundations, when we examine our core beliefs and when we question the strength of our convictions. That truly is God making all things work for our good because we love Him.
More later. David
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